Whether you are using a social networking site or gaming online, basic tech etiquette, or netiquette, is vital. And if you are uncertain how to coax that Facebooker you are casually poking online out for a drink without causing offence the web holds the answers.

Some rules are general – you will rub most people up the wrong way if you shout in emails by typing in capital letters while some are more specific. However, it is not just online etiquette that the web can help untangle. Hundreds of sites explain how to avoid causing offence in the nonvirtual world too. From travel tips to relationship matters, the advice is out there, if you know where to look.

THE BIG PICTURE

There is no one-stop good manners repository, so some hunting is necessary. The best known purveyor of etiquette is, of course, Debrett’s, but its glitzy website (www.debretts.co.uk ) is more geared to selling posh books than dispensing free tips. That said, it serves some tasty titbits, such as: “Follow your host’s lead and at the very least wait for them to sit down . . . Starting second is never a bad look, starting (or finishing) first can be.”

A reliable all-round option is www.emilypost.com, which is a huge American website, but don’t let that put you off. Alongside precise rules on handling the US flag sits advice for a nervous guest or interviewee: in general, attire that is a notch too formal is always better than too informal.

The era of overtly prescriptive etiquette has passed, argues the author Lynne Truss at tinyurl.com/2526rh. She then unravels six thorny topics in a gratifyingly British way, such as the importance of cleaning up after yourself and not booing referees.

Fear of the unknown, plus a spoonful of schadenfreude, makes reading about modern manners deeply compelling and The Sunday Times’s own Mrs Mills (tinyurl.com/3cjr4q) is the best in the business at dissecting a dilemma, darling.

ONLINE ETIQUETTE

Technology has created several new avenues of interaction and in this foreign country newbies need to learn the rules. With regards to the web, the basic guide at www.albion.com/ netiquette is a decent start.

The key thing to remember, especially when posting public messages on a forum, is that other citizens of the web (or netizens) are human too. A blogger’s guide at www.cafemama.com/etiquette.html sensibly discourages inappropriate public criticism such as: “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re eating soft cheeses during pregnancy. [Are you] trying to kill your baby?”

There are many websites devoted to the joys of e-mail but www.emailreplies.com has practical tips for business users and consumers alike. For a more up-to-date discussion of e-mail trends and hot jargon, blog.netmanners.com is a lively read. Both sites are, however, US-based and whereas Americans regard e-mail as so vital that they will often send or receive messages during meetings and tend to expect hyper-swift responses, the British approach is more relaxed.

New Facebook fans can avoid social networking blunders by checking Wired magazine’s guide at tinyurl.com/37h4hb. This advises that when casually chatting somebody up on Facebook you should at least pretend you don’t know everything about them already from their public profile.

Even the virtual world of Second Life has standards of behaviour, outlined at tinyurl.com/2bcd3z . For instance, your on-screen avatar should never turn up without warning, just as you wouldn’t in the real world.

To sound like a true geek when gaming online, bone up on the bizarre slang at tinyurl.com/2f86ws , which has a sound primer.

ON THE ROAD

No one wants to irritate a new client on a business trip so check out www.cyborlink.com for a guide to differences in various countries. For example, the widely recognised hand signal for okay – making a circle with your thumb and forefinger – is considered offensive in Brazil.

A more slickly designed site is www.traveletiquette.co.uk, which has a China section that illuminates the difference between same-sex hand-holding (common) and public displays of affection (frowned upon).

Inspired by The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and hosted by the BBC, the h2g2 guide has perky tips on international driving etiquette at tinyurl.com/2ybbzg. Do not stop at a “Give Way” sign in Kuwait, as “you run the risk of the driver behind you running into your vehicle, as he has no intention of stopping”.

Teaching etiquette is clearly big business and you can sign up for business, social and other courses at www.mindingmanners.com. There are even courses for children.

To glimpse how others see us Brits check out www.ukstudentlife.com, a guide for foreign students. It cites good (and bad) topics of conversation, reveals how to know when it’s your round in the pub and even lists tips on scoffing scones – eat the top and bottom halves separately. Never as a sandwich.

RELATIONSHIPS

To survive the tangled web of online dating Match.com has pragmatic advice at tinyurl.com/3yhyfm and www.topdatingtips.com has dozens of articles to help hone your technique.

If matters proceed well, most wedding websites have advice on the subtleties of nuptials but Net-Weddings has a particularly comprehensive, nononsense guide at tinyurl.com/yrm2v8. Should matters turn sour, iVillage has some helpful tips for managing a relationship with your ex at tinyurl.com/23du83 .

THE SPECIALISTS

Unsure of how to behave around a guide dog? Well, Articles Factory tells you never to order one around or walk on its left side at tinyurl.com/2t38vz.

How long should you wait for a latecomer at a dinner party? A site dedicated to dinner party planning says in its guide at tinyurl.com/24eumj to hang on for only 15 minutes once the food is ready, which seems harsh.

The BBC provides a set of quirky etiquette rules at tinyurl.com/6vj8e for the remote control. Apparently, the first crime is rapid channel hopping.

HOT LINKS
THIS WEEK’S BEST CLICKS

FLOODS OF TEARS Insurance companies are warning of uninsurable new homes in years to come if government plans to build on flood plains go ahead. Check whether your house is at risk of needing a dock as well as a garage with the Environment Agency’s interactive flood map at tinyurl.com/9bpvz. Click on an area to see its flood defences and the extent of previous deluges from rivers or sea.

ARTFUL DODGERS Keep an eye open at the car boot sales for the Van Gogh, Cézanne and Degas masterpieces stolen last week from a Swiss museum. To help you identify them, go to www.saztv.com/page28.html for links to images of these and dozens of other high-profile stolen artworks. If you do find yourself being offered a Monet in the pub, there are contact details for Interpol too.

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