Apple iMac G5

Which should . . .
with the new Apple remote, let you “browse the contents of your iMac as easily as you browse music on your iPod”.

Which actually . . .
has divided my life between before and after the man from Apple dropped it off. Before I had a G5 I would go to the cinema, meet friends, walk in the park or visit my parents. Since the G5’s arrival I spend all my spare time on the computer, reading Times Online, compiling my photo albums, editing my own films, creating slide shows, video-conferencing with distant relatives and watching DVDs. Each new day is a revelation. I love my G5 but cannot help feeling that I’m playing truant from real life.

iMac G5, 17in £899/20in £1,199 inc VAT,(www.apple.com/uk 0800 0391010)

The straightener

Pro Straightt 2161AU

Which should . . .
straighten hair with its “variable temperature settings between 140C and 200C and ceramic-coated plates”.

Which actually . . .
smelt alarming when used. Who are Adee and Paul? Why are their leering faces plastered all over the packaging? Why is Adee wearing a bicycle chain around his neck? And Paul, what’s with the paisley cravat? Why do they spell the word “straight” with two Ts? Is it because they’re not, and, if so, would that necessarily make anyone want to buy a hair straightener any more? Why did I smell burning when I ran the Pro Straightt through my hair? Why did my hair then go matt and fluffy as if it had been ironed badly by my 15-year-old self? This won’t do at all. If you want hair tongs, go to www.ghdceramicirons.co.uk and splash out on some more expensive ones for about £90. I’ve seen GHD ceramic hair straighteners change the lives of friends with hair like Ronald McDonald and Don King.

Adee & Paul Hair Straightener, Pro Straightt 2161AU, £29.95, John Lewis (08456 049049)

The phone

MDA Vario

Which should . . .
offer “full PDA functionality in a compact, sturdy phone”.

Which actually . . .
works perfectly. The built-in keyboard is not microscopic, the memory is not always on the verge of collapse, the pictures it takes are sharp, and it features the internet, Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, Excel and Bluetooth — plentiful and comprehensive. The MDA is so robust that it was unfazed when accidentally dropped down two flights of stairs. The phone itself is perfect but available only on the T-Mobile network. To anyone between networks I would say buy it now.

T-Mobile MDA Vario, price depends on price plan, T-Mobile stores (www.t-mobile.co.uk)

The radio

Pure Sonus-1XT

Which should . . .
be “the world’s first DAB digital radio with iVOX voice feedback technology, bringing new levels of accessibility to radio listening”.

Which actually . . .
is finished with birch veneer, which will remind you of MFI kitchens. That aside, it picks up Planet Rock and the speakers are pretty good as well. This model has iVOX technology, which means a woman’s voice tells you which station you are about to tune into — very nice if you’re lonely or blind but, perhaps, a little patronising in the long run.

Pure Sonus-1XT DAB Talking Radio, £119 (www.pure-digital.com 01923 260511)

The scales

Typhoon Kitchen Scales

Which should . . .
offer a pleasingly old-fashioned counterpoint to all this high technology.

Which actually . . .
are heavy, imprecise, awkward to store and old fashioned. I love them. Cooking should always involve a little bit of guesswork.

Typhoon Funky Scales in Buick Red, £25 (www.typhooneurope.com 020-8974 4750)

The digital camera

Pentax Optio 50

Which should . . .
offer reliable picture quality from a reputable maker at a budget price.

Which actually . . .
costs half as much as the similarly tiny Canon IXUS 50, which I have used and loved. Is paying half as much for something only three quarters as good a wise idea? The Optio 50 turned out to be easy to use, but the quality isn’t there. Close-ups are fine, but, especially in artificial light, anything more than a few metres away was blurry even on autofocus. The other hitch is the incredibly bad shutter lag, which rules out any possibility of spontaneity. This is one of the few 5-megapixel cameras on the market for this price. It’s fun, but I’d rather save up for a Canon and stick with my 35mm in the meantime.

Pentax Optio 50, £125, stockists nationwide (www.pentax.co.uk)