As Dr Johnson once remarked on a woman’s preaching: “It’s like a dog’s walking on his hinder legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all.” Ashen comes trailing favourable Stateside reviews as the first creditable first-person shooter on the N-Gage. And yes, the graphics are good, considering, the depth is greater than expected, and it boasts the usual heart-fluttering mix of lurking and leaping and fighting. Not at all bad.

But really, the N-Gage is the wrong format for an immersive shooter. After squinting at a small, dark screen for just 15 minutes, stabbing at bizarrely allocated number keys with stubby fingers, you begin to wish that someone would press the N-Gage into service in its other guise as a mobile, and interrupt your game with a phone call.

Dominic Wells