Dear Kathy

Q My wife, who is 15 years younger than me, has been buying an awful lot of new shoes recently and they all have what she and her friends call “killer heels”. She used to look perfectly nice in court shoes. I’ve also noticed more make-up is being applied, and the skirts are getting shorter. What’s going on? TH, from Birmingham

A You must consider the possibility that she has fallen in love with another man and is going out all guns blazing to attract him. Do you represent safety and now she seeks adventure? If so, it’s your own image you need to pay attention to. On the other hand, she may just have woken up to fashion. In which case, what are you afraid of - that she’s outgrowing you, or inching out of your control? This is a chance for you to renegotiate the terms of your relationship to suit you both. Marriages either adapt over the years or stagnate and become unfulfilling for both people. Perhaps she just wants to feel young. Perhaps she wants you to stop taking her for granted. You won’t know till you talk to her.

Dear Kathy

Q When my wife was pregnant she liked a back rub every night to ease the cramps and strains. I was happy to oblige. I went to classes, did breathing exercises, sat up with her when she couldn’t sleep and massaged her swollen feet. But the baby was born eight months ago and she’s insisting I continue the routine. It’s all very one-sided. TB, 29, from Colchester

AThe breathing exercises can stop, unless you’re aiming to be the next Sting and Trudie. Don’t go too far, though: it takes most women the same time again (ie, nine months) to get back to normality after giving birth. Invest in her wellbeing; neglect her now and you’ll be sorry. But don’t take the 1990s-man routine too far. It’s the naughty Noughties now, remember. Foot massages are all very well but they take you only so far. If you’re her masseur, nurse and nurturer, there’s a danger she’ll turn to the nearest “real man” - the plumber, say - when she wants more than a back rub.

Dear Kathy

Q What is the correct attire for a job interview with a quite hip online company? I don’t want to look like a dweeb in a suit and tie, but smart casual has always left me feeling I look like Alan Partridge. What do you advise? FR, 29, from London

A As my Scout Leader friend always says, remember the six Ps: proper preparation prevents piss-poor performance. So, bearing in mind that these days “hip” means whatever works, and there’s no such thing as correct attire, I suggest a watered-down version of Mark Ronson. A bit suit; a bit street.

Write to Kathy at tough@sunday-times.co.uk